The best way I’ve found to motivate myself to do hard stuff

A few months ago, I started meeting with my 53-year-old self.

In therapy I spend a lot of time with my younger self so I can release gunk. So I can break patterns that aren’t helpful. It’s hard and painful but necessary if I want to stop doing the same things over and over.

It’s also necessary because myself 3 years from now is reaping the rewards of this work.

I know this because I regularly visualize sitting down with her at the kitchen table.

When I heard about this on a podcast, I was struck by how novel it seemed. All the coaching exercises I’d done up until then were about picturing your ideal day, what your eulogy would be, etc. Those have their place but they never really resonated with me like this has.

Here’s how it goes:

I close my eyes and picture myself sitting at my kitchen table. Future Lynn walks in for our chat. I pay attention to how she walks, what she’s wearing, her facial expression, her energy, and to how it feels when she walks in the room.

It feels so good. Like I’m home.

To keep this from getting too long, here are the things I’ve noticed about her in our chats:

• She is kind, warm and so grateful to me because she knows I’m doing the hard work on the way to where she is
• She smiles a lot and laughs easily
• She sits close and holds my hands or touches my arm a lot
• She is wearing the kind of boho chic clothes and accessories I love, she feels great in them
• She has effortlessly great posture and her arms are defined
• She smells fantastic, I keep getting whiffs of lovely bergamot with a hint of vanilla
• She really listens and when she talks, she takes her time and checks in to see what feels right to say
• Her eyes are more wrinkled and her cheeks drooping a bit more and she looks radiant

There’s more but you get the idea.

Every time I sit with her new details come through. Having her in my mind like this gives me the motivation and more tangible information to guide me in the present than anything else I’ve ever done.

To make her real, it’s up to me to keep doing the things I’m doing.